Kiyone's Psychoanalysis
by Kasai to Kasumi
Summary: An average day in the life of MihoKiyo. Too bad Kiyone doesn't think so, especially when Mihoshi brings a friend to the party!


**A/N:** This is one of the strangest stories I've written, along with Wedding Ceremony of Happiness! Everyone brace yourselves, because when Kiyone and Mihoshi are involved… well… what can I say?

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Tenchi Muyo!

**Kiyone's Psychoanalysis**

Kiyone Makibi sat alone in her office, fiddling with a pen-cap. She had just sent in her due reports and was left with nothing to do. Kiyone was no fool though, and knew that one step outside of her office could mean an encounter with her hapless partner, Mihoshi. No, best to stay shut in her office… her safe haven. So she spent her time idly, waiting for her commander to give his approval and assign her to a new case.

Only a few moments of silence had passed before Kiyone heard a crash just outside her office. She cringed, and silently wished that she had installed more locks onto her door. Locks that Mihoshi _couldn't_ break through. She knew that crash had been Mihoshi's doing, and that the clumsy officer was on her way to Kiyone's office, probably to leech off of her again. Her suspicions were confirmed when she heard frantic apologies in a voice unique to the one and only, Mihoshi Kuramitsu. Kiyone sighed, and defensively sunk deeper into her private thoughts.

"Mihoshi's coming…" 

_I know._

"What do I do this time?"

_Pray?_

"Any better suggestions?"

_Nope._

"…Who am I talking to?"

_I'm your conscience._

"Crap. I've heard bad things about you… Whoa, hold it Kiyone. Talking to yourself is a bad sign."

_Whoever said I was Kiyone? My name is Rosa DiValgas! This is an absolute outrage! _

…

"Who the hell are you?!"

…

Kiyone became instantly alert when a shrill beep interrupted her decisively mad thoughts. She glanced down at her organized desk to see a red light flashing angrily at her. She quickly tapped it.

"Detective Kiyone speaking," she said clearly and professionally.

"Kiyone! Just went over your report. It's been submitted successfully. Thank you for your hard work."

"Oh, commander! You're welcome, sir," Kiyone said automatically. "Any new assignments?"

"None for now, Kiyone," Her superior answered.

Kiyone nodded and reached across her desk to flick the off-switch, when her door swung open with a bang. Kiyone's fingertip hovered just over the button, as she took in the sight before her, wondering absently how Mihoshi had managed to break through the locks already in place on the office door.

"Mihoshi…"

Kiyone's partner grinned widely at the sound of her name being called. "Hi Kiyone!" She answered brightly. Kiyone took a deep breath and peered at the item clutched in Mihoshi's hands.

"Mihoshi! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT FISH?!" Kiyone raged.

…

On the other end of the comm. device, the commander pulled a face at what he had just heard. In disbelief, he pressed the phone closer to his ear.

…

"Oh, it was so cute!"

"It belongs in the _water_! You're gonna kill it!"

The fish in question flopped around frantically, while the police officer struggled to keep a grip on it.

"Oh, but _Kiyooone!_" Mihoshi whined. She noticed her partner's grim expression and felt tears start to burn her sky-blue eyes. Kiyone watched fearfully as the tears began spilling down her partner's cheeks.

"Mihoshi, now _stop_ that crying! Please, c'mon now…" Kiyone said, to no avail. Mihoshi pranced around the room in a fit of hysterics, talking gibberish as she went.

"What's your problem? If you're thinking about keeping that fish, you can forget it!" Kiyone hollered, swiveling around in her chair to watch her partner bounce by. Mihoshi passed by Kiyone's chair and not missing her chance, she dove for the slimy sea creature still dangling helplessly in Mihoshi's hand.

…

It was around this time that the commander hung up his phone, ending the connection with a click. He stood up and lumbered away in mortal shock.

…

With her hand wrapped around the poor fish's tail, Kiyone pulled as gently as she could, but Mihoshi grabbed it back.

"Please don't take him, Kiyone!" Mihoshi blubbered.

Kiyone wrapped both of her hands firmly around the fish's tail and finally managed to yank it out of her partner's grasp. The two officers watched in horror and fascination as the creature flew through the air and landed with a splat on Kiyone's desk. It flopped wildly for a moment, before lying still.

"…Yuck."

**(A few days later)**

Kiyone sat down in her appointed seat aboard Yagami and fidgeted around a bit to get comfortable. All that she had to do now was wait for Mihoshi to take her place on the bridge, and they would be off for another night of patrol.

Not long after she settled in, Kiyone heard the hiss of the doors behind her, along with the arrival of her fellow detective.

"Um…" came Mihoshi's hesitant voice.

"What is it now?" Kiyone turned to look at Mihoshi.

Mihoshi held up a dead fish that she had concealed behind her back.

Kiyone put a hand to her head, feeling the start of a headache approaching. "………Alright. What are you doing with that fish?"

"Well I found it in my pillow case, actually."

There was a short silence. Then…

"You WHAT?"

"I think I was saving it for something…" Mihoshi continued.

"I don't believe this…"

**(End)**

(Kind of abrupt… whoops.)

**A/N: **I honestly don't know what I was thinking. The conversations between them just popped into my head one day! And I was crazy enough to turn it into a short story. A really short story, but what else could possibly be expected of ME, master of shortness? I'm even physically short! It all works out!


End file.
